i just google imaged poop.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
