I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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