If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
