Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
