I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
