Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
