Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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