Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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