i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
