This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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