i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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