three words: i give head
three words: not that well
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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