worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize