I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Dick very happy bro
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