we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Randomize
