i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
