At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
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