We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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