Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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