I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
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She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
