I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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