11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
