We're facebook friends in real life
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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