Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
