please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
