The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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