Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
