How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
