sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
