omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
