Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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