you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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