Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
whose ass print is on the piano?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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