You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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