just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
A+ Viking dick
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
