whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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