Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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