I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
