hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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