Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.

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(205): View more from Alabama

i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"

(1-205): View more from Alabama

if you ask that question again our friendship is over

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.

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(581): View more from Quebec

I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.

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(240): View more from Maryland

boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill

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(801): View more from Utah

i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?

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(804): View more from Virginia

I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.

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(616): View more from Michigan

You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off

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(727): View more from Florida

I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.

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