and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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