Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
