I looked at my own cervix.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
