He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize