evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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