And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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