WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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