I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize