The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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