i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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