I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
