That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize