took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
