To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just found puke in my bra..
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
