i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
