ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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