My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
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