Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Randomize