Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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