lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
