Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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