3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
