it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
